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I wear my power on me


There is something special about a woman who loves herself, a confidence of self-assurance and a smell of power. A woman has many ways to show her confidence and love for one’s self and many women choose clothes as the choice of weapon. They choose to love themselves and wear that love on their bodies, in well-tailored power suits, gorgeous long or short well-made dresses, or they spend thousands on Rands on one item, it’s their damn money, they should be allowed to spend it any way they wish, shouldn’t they?

It is so difficult for people to comprehend that women can afford themselves and that women sometimes look good for themselves and no one else. This seems to be a confusing concept for so many people, including other women. There always must be an external reason as to why a woman can afford to buy expensive jewelry or for her looking as good as she does, she must be doing it for a man or a man is doing it for her. I don’t know how many times I have been in situations where I just wake up wanting to look good and sexy, but any time someone would pay a complement to me, it would have to be, “you are looking so good these days, you must have a man”, as a statement, not even a question, as if the only reason a woman can look good is for a man.

Women’s success, women beauty and women in general can never be a standalone entity, they must be under someone or something, that is the only way it seems that society can accept that women are able and capable to be powerful and successful. I have always loved owning my own things, I love money and investments and have always worked hard to be able to afford the things I want. It still surprises me that even when women have worked so hard for what they have, a man must somehow be behind that success. I remember when I first came to work driving, one of my colleagues came up to be me and said, “are you driving your man’s car”. That took me a back, as it made me realize that even in 2017, we have men and women who still cannot see beyond gender. Are men the only ones with the ability to succeed  and make money, are they the only reason a person must feel good? Can I not as a woman wake up and feel myself, be so in love with who I am? When women have confidence and are  in love with themselves, flaws and all, the amount of backlash they receive from other women is astonishing, but when a man feels himself everyone wishes they could be him, they look up to him and praise him.

Recently South African television personality Bonang Matheba came out with Bmoji’s, a book, a reality show and new products from her empire, we saw a flood of comments on social media, saying she is trying to be the African Kim Kardashian and we saw so much hate coming from other women. On the other hand, men who are in the industry like AKA or Casper Nyovest who are doing what Drake, Dr Dre, Kanye West and other rappers are doing in the industry, they are worshiped and called great business men and praised for understanding the business of the music industry. Can we say double standards? If Bonang had a male business partner, the backlash would be less.

Can a woman be allowed to wear her power on her body, can she be allowed to be powerful with red lips and high heels, can we ask for your permission to be successful without being attributed to a man, is that ok? 
We don’t need anyone’s permission, but our society has made us feel as though we should be asking for approval. I am done asking and waiting for the world’s approval to be a woman,and who defines what a woman can and cannot do or be?



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